hilary
"There was a time when I could only make connections with people when I was drinking because I was such an anxious person. Now that I'm sober I make real connections all the time and its so much more real and enjoyable."
Milton, Ma.
Mother, wife, entrepreneur, activist & feminist. I am a work in progress and I worry a most about my children's happiness. I've battled anxiety & depression since childhood. I fear depression - I fear becoming so depressed that I can't take care of myself or loved ones. Anxiety is very hard to control and can be quite embarrassing - sometimes I'll sweat prfusely, shake, my speech can be come incoherent & I lose my train of thought. In the past I turned to alcohol to cope with these issues. There was a time when I could only make connections with people when I was drinking because I was such an anxious person. Now that I'm sober I make real connections all the time and its so much more real and enjoyable. It’s when I'm making positive connections with others that I feel most alive. There are so many things I do now to stay "balanced". Exercise is crucial! I also take medication, go to AA meetings and have a sponsor I check in with regularly. Prayer and meditation help along with staying connected with friends and loved ones. My nature is to want to isolate when I'm not feeling mentally fit but what I really need is to connect with others who know what I'm going through. I wish women did less trash talking. I wish there was less fear and anger in this world and more compassion and giving without expectation. Happiness comes from making yourself a better person and being able to relax and enjoy the ride. Beauty is confidence. In a romantic relationship it is important to support each others passions and give one another at least one compliment a day. I am proud of my passion for trying to understand what others are going through. I hope to inspire others by being open and honest about who I am. I am in love with the journey that is my life. I love to make people happy and proud. I am Hilary and I am just trying my darnedest to be the best version of myself.
jacqui
"In the first few months I completely lost myself."
"As difficult as it's been - I see that this has all made me stronger, more understanding & less judgmental."
"As difficult as it's been - I see that this has all made me stronger, more understanding & less judgmental."
Thayer Academy, Braintree Ma.
Mama, wife, sister, daughter, teacher. Some days I feel I'm not a good enough mom & wife. I worry about my children all the time & I fear my daughter may never outgrow her illness. I remember standing in the pediatric ICU at MGH watching doctors rush in & out while my baby girl struggled to breathe. I didn't know if she was going to make it through the night. I find motherhood to be all consuming. In this wonderful role, I am so lucky to have, I feel that I lose pieces of who I used to be. It's a challenge taking care of my baby girl while still being mom to my little guy. For the past 6 months we've spent our days in & out of the hospital, constantly hooking her up to her feeding tube, CPAP, oxygen at night & giving her breathing treatments. In the first few months I completely lost myself. I became severely depressed. I was heartbroken, scared, angry & anxious. I wasn't eating, sleeping or taking care of myself. I was letting her illness ruin me and it permeated into my relationships. But about 2 months ago I decided I had to pick myself up & rebuild. It was my choice to continue on barely surviving or to start truly living - enjoying my kids, husband & wonderful life despite Claire's health issues. I started seeing a therapist. I started making a conscious effort to care for myself by eating better, drinking more water & fitting in exercise. I am learning to live again. As difficult as it's been - I see that this has all made me stronger, more understanding & less judgmental. Success to me is appreciating what you have. Happiness comes from having people to love who love you back & doing things that excite you and make you feel whole. I'd tell a 12 year old me to stop caring what everyone thinks. That she is smart, strong & beautiful. To speak up - stop being so shy! In 10 years I hope my family is living a happy, healthy life. I hope to be a stronger better version of myself & I hope to be teaching again - making a difference in young lives. I believe in love, determination & growth. I am Jacqui & I love to smile.
clara
"I struggle to ask for help for fear of being seen as weak or incapable."
"I am proud of my ability to trust & have faith in a higher power and in people."
"I am proud of my ability to trust & have faith in a higher power and in people."
SheBreathes, Walpole MA.
Spirit in a physical body, Caribbean woman, mother, partner, daughter, friend, women's coach, strategist, author, speaker. My gift is my ability to help people see possibilities that they couldn't see for themselves. My worst day was the day my house caught fire - I lost all my material possessions. I didn't know when I would smile or take a deep breath again, but I did. I am resourceful, loving & spiritual. I have often felt not good enough, especially in the workplace -often being either the youngest or only woman of color at the table. I tend to go into isolation when I’m consumed by my own challenges. I struggle to ask for help for fear of being seen as weak or incapable. Physically, I’m insecure about my stomach but I believe insecurities are an opportunity to show yourself extra compassion. I love my eyes & my lips. I'd tell a 12 year old me to give herself permission to explore all things she loves- that this world is beautiful & she doesn't need anyones validation. My best day was college graduation. So much had to happen for me to get there. It felt like a dream having my mother and grandmother there. I wish there was more understanding in the world & less oppression and separation. Success is the pursuit of the heart's desire for the good of all. Happiness is a decision; a positive state of mind, body & soul. Beauty is God expressing herself through all things - there is beauty in everything. A strong romantic relationship is rooted in friendship, self love & selfless love. I've learned that I am responsible for my happiness, feelings & energy. I am excited about finding my new home and going deeper into my coaching & women's empowerment work. In 10 years I hope to be happier, even more peaceful & with my own retreat center in a warm country doing what I do now but more in depth. I am blessed & honored to live this life! I am proud of my ability to trust & have faith in a higher power and in people. It takes a lot of courage to do that in the world we live in. I don't have all the answers - I don't have it all together but I am willing to work on making things better. I am Clara and I value peace, love & family. I love to see the beauty in all things.
laura
"It wasn't until my 40's that I began to understand the seeds of trauma that drove my belief systems, choices & patterns." "I am not what happened to me. I am how I overcame tragedy & trauma to live a life whole with joy."
Braintree, Ma.
Business owner, healer, domestic violence advocate, speaker, daughter, mom in mourning & spiritual badass. I remember abuse as early as the 1st grade. I experienced an attempted sexual abduction at 12 and was raped at 15. I remained silent about these events until I was 46. My worst day though, was in September of 2012 when I lost my 3 children to my ex-husband. The family court system went against my well documented case of domestic violence & I was financially sanctioned as a way to silence me when I attempted to advocate for other families fighting similar cases before the same judge. I believe corruption in the judicial system regarding abuse cases is a silent epidemic. I wish there was less violence & predatory behavior in the world. I struggle with trusting my own inner guidance system- to know what is good for me & not. I've struggled to choose the right partnerships but through work & healing of deep subconscious wounds my relationships have become healthier. It wasn't until my 40's that I began to understand the seeds of trauma that drove my belief systems, choices & patterns. It was then that I began to reclaim my power. I am not a victim any more. I no longer live by the story that the judge & my abusers control my life & destiny. I implement self care rituals like meditation, mastering presence, an anti-inflammatory diet, creating, and understanding what healthy boundaries look like. I think the recipe for a strong romantic relationship is NON-attachment - allowing, receiving, no expectations & being present. You must have the greatest soulful love affair with self FIRST in order to know what you are attracting & how to be in a partnership with unconditional love. I am defined by my triumphs not by the traumas of my past. I choose to be defined by HOW DID SHE DO IT not well look how toxic her life was. I am not what happened to me. I am how I overcame tragedy & trauma to live a life whole with joy. I love to see & hear the transformations in others whom I empowered & helped reclaim their life. I am excited about the growth in all areas of my life. I am LOVE. I am a thriver. I am a mentor, artist, collaborator and catalyst. I am Laura, I am me.
sara
"I knew I needed help. I was hospitalized for my eating disorder - that was my worst day."
"I am resilient, confident, compassionate & determined and I love my heart."
"I am resilient, confident, compassionate & determined and I love my heart."
The Beanery, Easton Ma.
Yoga teacher, soon to be social worker, daughter, cousin, friend & sweet potato fries lover. I fear I’ll never be fully recovered from my eating disorder. I want to make my parents proud & no matter how many times or how many different ways they tell me they’re proud I still struggle with believing it. At 16, I found myself going down a path of disordered eating. I was over exercising & not eating enough. I was tracking calories & burning more than I was taking in. This continued on for about 2 years. I was not only losing weight but also friends & family. I'd run a brush through my hair & pieces would come out. I was cold all the time & my fingers & toes would turn blue. Clothes no longer fit. I felt weak, tired & depressed. At first I thought the best way to deal with it was to escape it. So I went to a college in the heart of Los Angeles. On move-in day everything came crashing down at once. I felt a wave of panic take over & I broke down. I told my parents that I couldn't do this. I knew I needed help. I was hospitalized for my eating disorder - that was my worst day. The experience was devastating. I rarely share my story because I don't want it to define me. I am not a case study or an example from a text book. I am a human being. I'd tell a 12 year old me to slow down. When I was younger I'd plan my life years in advance. It prevented me from living in the moment & letting things just happen. I now think happiness comes from physical, mental & emotional nourishment. Beauty is found in a kind heart, truthful word & compassionate demeanor. I wish women did less body shaming & more body loving. In 10 years I hope to be working as a social worker with children & families. I have lots of thoughts floating through my head of the future like living in California, starting a private practice & writing a book. I hope to continue teaching adult & childrens yoga. But right now I'm excited about graduating in May with my BA in Social Work. I am resilient, confident, compassionate & determined and I love my heart. Everything I do comes from my heart. I am Sara and I am so proud of the resilience & confidence I've gained through my eating disorder.
katie
"I've always struggled with finding my self worth. But helping others helps me."
"Success is doing what you love despite what others say."
"Success is doing what you love despite what others say."
Ames Free Library, Easton MA.
Wife, sister, daughter, trainer, crossfit coach, my clients' biggest cheerleader. I’m an introvert raised by my 2 amazing parents. My mother has been my light. She's lifted me up during struggles with mean girls, a mentally abusive relationship and constant feelings of anxiety & doubt. I truly want the best for everyone - I think this is what makes me a great trainer & friend. I feel most alive when I help a client achieve something they never thought possible -whether hitting a PR or getting off meds because they've taken control of their health. Encouraging everyone to find their power & self worth while I still continue to question my own is a challenge. I've always struggled with finding my self worth. But helping others helps me. I've also found strength & worth in the barbell. Lifting calms my anxiety & empowers me. I feel not good enough all the freakin time! Growing up people thought I was crazy for wanting to be a professional dancer - that I should use my good grades to get a stable career. I let insecurities end my dream of dance. When I found fitness I knew it was a path I wanted to follow. My healthy lifestyle has made people uncomfortable. My muscle made people think I wasn't feminine. Again my path wasn't stable, but I'm happy & serving my purpose. I fear I'm not good enough for the big dreams I have. I'm insecure about the backs of my legs. Your girls got cellulite too! I love my shoulders & eyes though. I'd tell a 12 year old me not to listen to what some of her "friends" are saying. That she is unique, quirky & bold. That is what makes her wonderful. I wish there was less judgement & more forgiveness in the world. Success is doing what you love despite what others say. Happiness comes from living with your heart wide open & taking chances. Someone who is supposed to love you will not belittle you & make you feel insignificant. Real love will always build you up. I wish women would compare less. We need to appreciate the good in others but not forget about all we each possess! I believe in authenticity, serving others & always giving people a chance. I’m Katie I’m proud of my ability to persevere. I may struggle but I don’t stay down for long.
We will be back to our regular stories next week highlighting amazing women. But today I wanted to share some truths from a truly incredible and inspiring man.
pat
"Sure I wish I never got this diagnosis and I wouldn't wish it on anyone in this world, but as backwards as it sounds, I am happier than I've ever been in life."
"I am strong. I am Blessed. I WILL BEAT THIS."
"I am strong. I am Blessed. I WILL BEAT THIS."
Castle Island, South Boston MA.
Husband, patient, survivor, advocate. I'm happy, loved and grateful. I love to spend time with the people I love and those who love me. The best day of my life was marrying my wife, Amanda. My perfect free day is a beautiful summer day down the cape with family & friends. My greatest gift is my ability to inspire and lead others. My worst day was September 15, 2017 the day I was diagnosed with stage IV colon cancer at 29. When I was first diagnosed I'd walk around in public and think everyone was looking at me - knowing I had cancer and thinking I was doomed. Many people are afraid to ask how I am doing or nervous to ask any questions regarding my situation. I want people to know I am an open book! The more people I can inspire or help the better. Not just people battling cancer, but anyone who is going through a physical or emotional challenge. Sure, I have my bad days when chemotherapy barely allows me to get off the couch. But my good days far outweigh the bad. As odd & horrible as it sounds my diagnosis has changed me in so many positive ways. People get so consumed with such trivial issues and concerns - I was one of those people! I was so occupied with what people thought of me, how I looked, how much money I made... All of this truly means nothing in the grand scheme of things. Sure I wish I never got this diagnosis and I wouldn't wish it on anyone in this world, but as backwards as it sounds, I am happier than I've ever been in life. I wake up and go to bed praising God for just giving me another day and for giving me all I have - and I'm not talking about any material items. I think this is how everyone should think. I cherish life and love so much more deeply. I don't fear death; I have my faith. I worry most about leaving my wife and family alone in this world. I fear being forgotten. I overcome the hard days with the support of my family and friends. My biggest emotional insecurity is not being good enough for Amanda and and those I love. I worry about the possibility of bringing children into this world and me not being there. I still hold onto the old story that I am a Marine who didn't get the chance to deploy and truly serve my country. I missed out on our generations war and feel I didn't serve when I should have. But the new story I'm living by is an inspiring one of beating the odds and surviving- which in turn inspires and motivates others going through similar struggles. I'd tell a 12 year old me not to sweat the small stuff, to cherish what matters most: family, friends, love and faith. I wish there was more gratitude and selflessness in the world and less complaining and judging of others. Success to me is being happy in life and being a person that anyone can come to for help, advice, support and love. The ingredient to happiness is love. Beauty is found in someone who is confident in themselves and compassionate to others. A year from now... to be honest, I just hope to be alive! Statistics of people with my disease have an average survival rate of 14-19 months. I am now 17 months out from my diagnosis and doing well. I want nothing more than to continue beating these odds and continue to live many happy years into the future. Down the line I want to be remembered as a loving husband, father, brother and son. As someone who was compassionate and inspiring to others. As a man who was honorable, reliable and selfless. I believe in love, honesty and integrity. I am Pat. I'm proud of my unbreakable spirit. I am strong. I am Blessed. I WILL BEAT THIS.
yanitza
"I battle with anxiety and thinking I'm not going to make it."
"Happiness comes from doing good for others. I believe love is the answer."
"Happiness comes from doing good for others. I believe love is the answer."
The South End, Boston Ma.
Daughter and friend. I am an introvert and a city girl. My greatest gift is relating to people and making them feel welcomed. I worry most about health and money. The best day of my life was finding out my Mom was cancer free. My worst day was losing my Dad to kidney cancer. I fear dying of cancer myself. I struggle to balance being a good daughter, career woman and servant of Jesus. I battle with anxiety and thinking I'm not going to make it. I think this anxiety and worry began back when my parents got sick. I try to overcome it with my faith in Christianity and knowing that Jesus will help me get through it all. Growing up as a teenager I dealt with low self esteem. I am insecure about my weight. But I do love my smile - people over the years have complimented my smile. I'd tell a 12 year old me not to worry because everything will be ok. I wish there was less hate in the world. Success to me is being a great daughter, good friend and good human. Happiness comes from doing good for others. I believe love is the answer. Beauty comes from the heart. I am proud of all my academic accomplishments. I am a compassionate, dreamer - I am Yanitza. In 10 years I hope to be married and have a program where I can help girls. I am who I am because of the sacrifices my mom made for me. I love her strength and one day I hope to be like her.
lauren
"I worry about my future, my ability to have children & be a good mom."
We only have one life & we should do as much good as we can while we are here.
We only have one life & we should do as much good as we can while we are here.
Financial District, Boston Ma.
Wife, Stepmom, Sister, friend & driven employee. I have a great ability to forgive. This has allowed me to live peacefully & not to hold onto things from the past. My best day was marrying my husband & officially blending our family with God after so many years together. I worry about my future, my ability to have children & be a good mom. Due to PCOS, a past cancer diagnosis & hypertension I struggle with health obstacles that make producing a child slightly more difficult. It causes me anxiety because having children of my own is so important to me. Step parenting is the hardest hat I have ever worn. I love my step children as if they were my own & this is also what makes it difficult. At the end of the day they have their biological parents who come first & they are not my children. I try to be as involved as possible & support them in everything, however there are still boundaries a step parent can't cross. My step son lives with us full time - he also has Autism & requires a lot of support. Sometimes it feels as if I am walking on egg shells. I question every decision I make and whether my husband & the kids’ mothers will be ok with it. Some people don't understand it, they'll say, "they aren't your kids why do you put them first?" or, "are you sure you want to deal with being #2 your whole life?" When I attend things for the kids I often get dirty looks from other parents without them knowing our situation. I often sit alone at sporting events & parent functions- it's sad because I am pretty funny if I do say so myself! I've learned to be patient and kind. You never know what someone else is going though. In my early 20’s I was the person who would glare at the mom with the temper tantrum child. The person who judged someone before knowing them. Today, I know we do not know someone else's story. They could appear happy but be crying on the inside. I so wish there was more acceptance of others & less judging in this world. I am empathetic, forgiving & ambitious. I am Lauren - I am so proud of my big heart. I am excited about working towards buying a house & having babies! We only have one life & we should do as much good as we can while we are here.
colleen
"My worst day was when I had to admit my young son to a juvenile mental hospital for over 2 weeks."
"I am proud that I never accept that my story is complete."
"I am proud that I never accept that my story is complete."
The Prudential Center, Boston, Ma.
Daughter, Sister, Mother, Wife, Friend, Small Business owner, School Committee member & Non-profit board member. I am open-minded, reflective & resilient. I'm afraid of dissapointing my family, friends and community. I often worry about financial security. The births of each of my 4 sons were the best days of my life. My worst day was when I had to admit my young son to a juvenile mental hospital for over 2 weeks. Raising a child with anxiety has been a struggle - it's a work in progress. To manage it I try to keep improving and educating myself about anxiety. I often don't say or do the "right" things but I certainly learn from each challenging event. I've started to practice yoga which helps center me and give me overall strength. I question whether or not I'm good enough most days. I often feel like I don't fit in any one particular group but sort of "float" around. Having 4 kids gives you the great opportunity to meet many fabulous people but certainly forces you to move from one group to another quickly, not always feeling super connected. I'd tell a 12 year old me to let others help and care about her and to learn from them. I used to live by the "story" that I am solely responsible for other's happiness but my new story is that I am responsible for my own. I feel most alive when I'm outside, being active, breathing in fresh air and away from distractions. Nothing else clears the mind for me as well. Success to me is being at peace with my choices. Beauty is found in acceptance, confidence and embracing the changes & stages that come with age. I wish there was more patience in the world - less urgency. I wish women would judge themselves & others less, especially against modern societies unrealistic norms. I believe in integrity, kindness & self-improvement. I am Colleen and I am proud that I never accept that my story is complete. I know there is always more to be learned, to be experienced and to accomplish.
kristen
"(my nana's) passing trumped all my other tough days including my Mom's death, when I was raped at 12 by 3 older neighborhood "kids" and my cancer diagnosis."
"I love my heart - I know how genuine it is. There's no makeup, hair color or fancy clothes that can make it look any different. It's loyal and raw."
"I love my heart - I know how genuine it is. There's no makeup, hair color or fancy clothes that can make it look any different. It's loyal and raw."
Ames Free Library, Easton Ma.
Partner in all things LIFE, protector & provider to 2 beautiful children, magician beautician, rape survivor and cancer fighter. I was a scared & lonely child raised by my Mom. She provided shelter, food & the clothes on my back. Most of my good childhood memories though were at my Dad's on the weekends - he always made me laugh. When it came to nurturing & love I relied heavily on my aunt Lynne & my Nana. My worst day was when my Nana passed. She was a huge part of me. With her gone, I constantly feel incomplete & like something is just missing. Her passing trumped all my other tough days including my Mom's death, when I was raped at 12 by 3 older neighborhood "kids" and my cancer diagnosis. I'd tell a 12 year old me not to answer the door that day. I had my daughter just shy of my 17th birthday. She's been my light ever since she was born - she gave me purpose. She is a gentle, kind, intelligent, talented beyond words, loving soul. Being brave & strong is difficult for anyone battling cancer but especially as a Mom. I don't want my kids to see my true fears or sadness so I cry when I'm alone. I want to protect them & I fear I'll leave them too soon. I'm proud of the resiliency I've shown in my short 39 years so far. I'm proud of my strength, determination & will to survive. I've felt not good enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough & not thin enough at times. But with maturity & life's lessons I've learned that all of those things I thought weren't enough happen to be just perfect for the people who actually matter. I love my heart - I know how genuine it is. There's no makeup, hair color or fancy clothes that can make it look any different. It's loyal and raw. Right now success is getting through another day. I feel so alive when my eyes open, my feet hit the carpet and I hear my family downstairs in the kitchen just talking. It is a reminder that I am still living & that I have everything I need. In 10 years I hope to still be here! If I am - let's do this again! I am Kristen. I am a strong, I am a fighter and a survivor. I am not what has happened to me or the cancer I continue to battle - I am ME.
ashley
"I'd tell a 12 year old me to follow her dreams and not to let others' words define her. "
"The worst day of my life was losing my mom to brain cancer this past summer."
"The worst day of my life was losing my mom to brain cancer this past summer."
Stonehill College, Easton Ma.
Daughter, friend & marketing consultant. I believe in treating others with kindness, prioritizing self care, and giving before expecting to receive. As a kid I was shy, creative & visionary. My gift is being able to build a community of like-minded women. I worry about money, about not making enough to support myself. The worst day of my life was losing my mom to brain cancer this past summer. We were super close and I considered her my best friend. During the 2.5 years she was sick she was unable to care for herself. I cared for her during the week. I helped her in the bathroom, dressed her and carried her when she became too weak - I'd do it all over again for someone who has done so much for me. My best day was hitting 100k in my business. I'm a senior in college and I turned 22 last week. Being a full time college student and entrepreneur is a tough balance and I struggle with imposter syndrome. I catch myself holding onto the story that people won't want to hire me because I'm so young. But the story I remind myself is that people will want to hire me because I grew up with social media. I remind myself that people hire me because I am an expert and I provide value. Sometimes I feel not good enough and I worry that people won't like me. I often feel like I don't fit in because I'm at a very different point in my life than most people my age. I'd tell a 12 year old me to follow her dreams and not to let others' words define her. To me success is doing something I love that will provide for me. I think the ingredients to happiness are love and supportive family & friends. True beauty is found in a kind soul and a big heart. I wish women believed more in community and competed less. I don't want to follow a traditional life by immediately jumping into a 9-5 or getting my masters- I want to continue working for myself. In ten years I hope to be running a full-service marketing firm. I am proud that I became a successful business owner by the age of 21. I am hardworking, passionate and outgoing. I am Ashley & I am happy.
melissa
"Managing the anorexia took years of therapy, psychologist visits & nutrition counseling to finally accept food as medicine."
"Now people see me as a fearless leader, a take-controller and a light in the workplace - I believe I am all those things."
"Now people see me as a fearless leader, a take-controller and a light in the workplace - I believe I am all those things."
Easton, Ma.
Wife, daughter, sister, friend, colleague. I believe in integrity, gratitude & authenticity. Our wedding day was my best day - one filled with laughter & happy tears. My worst day was 6 weeks later when my mother in law died in a tragic car accident. We had a strong bond & that was a dark time. Since then I have feared an unforeseen tragedy happening to me or those I love. As a kid I was sensitive, naive & kind. I struggled with anxiety & panic disorder which led to a concurrent battle with anorexia that lasted for about 12 years. Managing the anorexia took years of therapy, psychologist visits & nutrition counseling to finally accept food as medicine. Once I started to eat properly, gain weight & negate the fatigue it was about managing the panic & fear that I have embodied my whole life. That struggle is ongoing. Exercise, movement & daily reflection has helped me build a mental & physical fortress that allows me to wake up and thrive each day. Before I found my voice, speaking up was a tall mountain to climb; when I would assert myself my voice would meet me with a cold sweat, butterflies & complete awkwardness. I often worry that my anxiety is penetrating a room. I used to live by the story that I'm too scared to create the life I want. Fear kept me from being my truest self and from being heard and instead I manifested that into micromanaging my diet. These days I don't let negativity get in the way of owning my own world and altering my thinking. Now people see me as a fearless leader, a take-controller and a light in the workplace - I believe I am all those things. I believe happiness comes from self-care, patience & lifelong learning. Beauty, as my husband says, is confidence above all! I've learned I have to love myself before I can truly love someone else. Love should be passion, not a project where you’re trying to fix someone. I wish women embraced more compliments and stopped making excuses. I am proud to be assertive, brave and silly. I am Melissa. I love to get lost in my imagination, to put on cute shoes, make a cup of coffee and make it happen! I’m happy, confident and creative and I’m so excited for 12 new months ahead!
jasmine
"At 23 I had a stroke. That was my ah-ha moment."
"I believe it is through my faith that endless miracles have occurred."
"I believe it is through my faith that endless miracles have occurred."
Stoughton, Ma.
Daughter of the Most High, Wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend, business owner, student & pet mom. I believe it is through my faith that endless miracles have occurred. I've overcome depression, obesity & cardiac issues. I struggled with infertility. Being told my first round of IVF didn't work was my worst day. I was devastated to know an embryo hadn't survived. My son Jaydan was eventually born in July of 2018 - that was the best day of my life. Im afraid of losing everything I've built over the last 10 years & letting my son and husband down. I worry about Jaydan - being a black male living in this crazy world. During my teen years I felt I wasn't good enough - I ended up falling into the wrong crowd and did poorly in school. At 23 I had a stroke. That was my ah-ha moment. I realized I had to get my spiritual, physical, emotional & financial well being together. I often feel like people are waiting for me to fail. But that also motivates me to work hard in all I do. I'm insecure about my weight. I had my son almost 5 month ago and I'm still 15lbs above my pre baby weight. I love my mind though. I feel I'm very bright, quick witted and can manage anything that comes my way. I also love my smile. I catch myself holding onto the story that I'm physically & mentally sick. I tend to use it as my cushion. When I don't succeed at something I fall back on the idea that with my conditions I should be happy just to be alive. But my new story is that my illnesses don't define me. They are there to catapult me into my destiny. I'd tell a 12 year old me that she is beautiful just the way she is. To change for no one and stay the course- it gets greater later! Success is having a full heart. Happiness is in God, prayer, family, goals & a glass of wine. I’ve learned that a strong relationship is not all sex, cuddles and bubbles. It takes communication and commitment long term. I wish women would stop tearing each other down - we can do so much more together. I’m a loving, determined go getter - I am Jasmine. I’m excited to see what 2019 will bring. I am truly excited to be alive.
julie
"It's overwhelming being completely out of shape and going down a dark path emotionally & physically."
"I feel most alive when I’m experiencing adventures through my children’s eyes."
"I feel most alive when I’m experiencing adventures through my children’s eyes."
Bradley Estate, Canton Ma.
Mama, Wife, Daughter, Sister, Auntie & friend. My best day was finding out I was pregnant. I wanted to be a mom so badly. It took us a while so I will never forget that joy. Before that, the disappointment each month not being pregnant weighed on me. It was hard celebrating others when I wanted that so bad. I didn't do all things with grace & I really disliked myself during that time. I’ve learned to be more tender with my words. Someone else could be silently suffering through something I know nothing about. Soon after finding out I was pregnant I was told my daughter may not make it to term. Living in fear of the worst & remaining excited about our baby was a challenge. But in that struggle I stumbled upon my strength. We're now blessed with a daughter who puts a smile on the faces of all she meets. I gained weight over the past few years. In the struggle to balance being a career woman with the desire to be the do it all Mom I made no time for myself. I was stretched so thin I felt like I wasn't doing anything well. I feared not being there for my girls. I felt trapped in my own body- like the fit healthy me was screaming for help. It's overwhelming being completely out of shape and going down a dark path emotionally & physically. I felt alone & didn't know where to start but I needed to find myself again. I took control of my health making small changes that would eventually lead to bigger ones. I've struggled with my weight for years. Despite having parents that told me I was beautiful & feeling confident in many ways I just never felt as pretty as other girls. That said, I'm coming to embrace my body. I love that I'm strong and that my body is able to do so many things. That is a gift. My goal is not to fit into the smallest sizes but to feel good in my skin. I think beauty is being the best possible version of yourself inside & out. I'd tell a 12 year old me to love herself, all of herself and that its ok to be different - to do what makes her happy & to have the confidence to always do her best. I am proud of my perseverance. I'm kind, anxious, and confident. I am Julie and I feel most alive when I’m experiencing adventures through my children’s eyes.
kristyn
" I've held onto an old story that I'm never going to find someone to love all of me - that I'm unworthy and unlovable. My new story is that I am more than enough! I am sexy and smart and ambitious."
The Seaport, Boston Ma.
Daughter, sister, aunt, friend, mentor, solopreneur, community builder, holistic wellness advocate, lifelong student. I have a gift of connecting with and empowering others and since I was a kid people always felt safe to open up to me. I have a memory from when I was 5 of watching my younger sister, who was 3 at the time, almost drown because my mother was so messed up on drugs she forgot that she put her in the bath. If I didn't find her there she probably wouldn't have made it. Since I can remember I've had a fear of abandonment. I've worried about not being good enough and if I was worthy of love. Most of my life if it was a 98 I wanted a 100. If it was 5lbs I wanted 10. If it was Northeastern I wanted Harvard. Never enough. I'm insecure about my back and my stomach - it never seems to be flat enough. I love my smile and my legs though. I work every day to overcome my struggles through personal development, yoga, finding my tribe, meditation, rewriting my story and learning to release and surrender. I've held onto an old story that I'm never going to find someone to love all of me - that I'm unworthy and unlovable. My new story is that I am more than enough! I am sexy and smart and ambitious. I'm resilient and brave. I'm an entrepreneur a motivational speaker and a catalyst for positive change. I'd tell a 12 year old me to stop worrying about outside approval and to show herself the same grace and love she shows everyone else. I wish women would let go of competition mindset and ego. I wish they’d nurture themselves more as opposed to always giving so freely to others. My positive mindset has been my coping mechanism through the pain. It has not been easy or without struggle but I didn't allow myself to be a victim of my circumstances or environment. It was my choice to create a better life and I work at it every day, especially on the hardest days. I am Kristyn. I am confident, courageous and committed. And I am proud of my ability to grow, expand and heal while helping others along the way.
alex
"I wasn't safe but I stayed to protect a mother who didn't care if I lived or died - she told me daily that she hated me."
"I'm Alex and I'm proud of how far I've come. I'm proud of my drive and resiliency."
"I'm Alex and I'm proud of how far I've come. I'm proud of my drive and resiliency."
Castle Island, South Boston, Ma.
Friend, dog mom, girlfriend, mentor, coach, director, athlete. I believe in speaking your truth, helping others and being intentional in creating a healthy mind in a healthy body. As a child I was athletic,determined and lonely. Now, I'd say I'm energetic, resilient and empathetic. I'm an extrovert with social anxiety. My special gift is inspiring others - making them laugh and feel cared for. I use my experiences to help others. I grew up in a really abusive household. I was dangled by a second story window and over railings. My dad literally tried to murder me multiple times. I wasn't safe but I stayed to protect a mother who didn't care if I lived or died - she told me daily that she hated me. Eventually I left and struggled on and off with homelessness throughout my teens and early 20s. I went to college with no family and no support system. I worked 80 hour weeks on top of full time school. I got really sick and felt really alone. I felt like telling people what I was going through would only scare them away. Eventually I opened up. I learned that I wasn't the only one and that sharing my experiences could help others. I took a chance and decided to tell this one guy my full story- we've been together almost 7 years now. I learned that the right people may not always understand, but they will listen and they will stay. It may take a while to find those people, but its worth it. Sometimes I worry that I'm not fun or interesting enough. I worry that in being open about my struggles people will just see me as broken - I know that isn't true, though. At times I get so wrapped up in my future goals that I forget about what I do have and what it took me to get here. When I do stop and look back on it all, It's pretty cool. I'm always showing up and putting myself into spaces that are out of my comfort zone. I'm Alex and I'm proud of how far I've come. I'm proud of my drive and resiliency.
denee
"I'd tell a 12 year old me that she is fabulous and to remember that; also to be kinder to those around her because everyone could use some more kindness."
"I also have very little patience for myself. I don't allow myself many mistakes and am hard on myself."
"I also have very little patience for myself. I don't allow myself many mistakes and am hard on myself."
Randolph Community Center, Randolph, Ma.
Daughter, sister, cousin, friend, advisor, motivator. I value faith, honesty and humor. I worry about everything! I worry most about my next moves and achieving what I want to in life. I feel like as a society we don't know how to just sit and do nothing. We always need to be distracted. We don't live in a culture that encourages us to disconnect and I've found myself struggling to manage the "screen time" in my life. I struggle with patience. I hate being late and making others wait on me so I tend to always rush whomever I'm with. I find myself nagging folks if they don't do things on my timeline. I also have very little patience for myself. I don't allow myself many mistakes and am hard on myself. I'm still working on finding a way to manage that. I'm obsessively neat and clean. I worry sometimes that I'll pass these idiosyncrasies onto my future children. I hope that by the time I have kids I'll be able to show them a good balanced life. I went to a private girls high school and it was there when I first felt an economic difference between my classmates and I. While at that school I also realized I was black for the first time and it became very clear that many of my classmates and I lived in different realities. My parents raised me with a strong sense of self and self worth though. I may have felt different at times, but because of how I was raised I always felt good enough. I'd tell a 12 year old me that she is fabulous and to remember that; also to be kinder to those around her because everyone could use some more kindness. To me, success is living a faith based, debt free life that focuses on working to live rather than living to work. Beauty is found in someone who is confident and knows themselves inside and out. I think confidence makes everyone look better. I wish women loved themselves and uplifted each other more. In ten years I hope to be living in my own house, hopefully married with at least one kid and finding the perfect balance between work and home life. I am Denee and I am proud of my faith in God. It has changed how I deal with my circumstances and has made me a better person for myself and others.
karen
"I had a very rough upbringing that I'm forever scarred from - I want to be sure he has a better childhood than I had."
"I want my son to be proud of me. I want him to say “My Mom made it, she overcame.”
"I want my son to be proud of me. I want him to say “My Mom made it, she overcame.”
Frog Pond, Boston Ma.
Single Mother, latina, vet tech, friend, sister, daughter, titi, survivor & decent human being. I believe in honesty, freedom and love. I'm afraid of losing myself again - whether to depression, anxiety or to an abusive relationship. I fear not being true to myself. I worry a lot about raising my son right. Will he be emotionally and mentally okay as he gets older? I worry about screwing him up somehow. I had a very rough upbringing that I'm forever scarred from - I want to be sure he has a better childhood than I had. The day my son was born was the best day of my life. I had suffered many miscarriages prior and had a tough pregnancy with preeclampsia so his healthy birth was a big deal. I struggle to balance spending time with my son and work. I don't want to miss anything but I also want to be able to provide for anything he wants to pursue. I've been on the heavier side since I was a child. It's hard for me and I can't say I've overcome it - It is a constant struggle and having PCOS contributes to it. I've been in a few abusive relationships - sometimes I catch myself holding onto those old memories, feelings and fears and bringing them into new relatioships. But the new story I'm trying to live by is that I'm the girl that overcomes. No one deserves abusive treatment in a relationship - I deserve so much more. I want my son to be proud of me. I want him to say “My Mom made it, she overcame.” I'd tell a 12 year old me to be strong, to know that everything you go through will make you wiser, stronger and more determined. I'm excited about my thirties - I'm eager to see where this decade brings me and I finally feel like I'm in a pretty stable place. In 10 years I want to be happy with my son by my side. I am Karen and my past & circumstances to not define me - they make me stronger. I am proud of the fact that I have been through so much and continue to push through. I'm proud that I have never given up.
becca
"I have abruptly become a single mom who has to split her time between work, nursing school, and kids."
"For the first time in my adult life I'm figuring out who I am and what makes me happy."
"For the first time in my adult life I'm figuring out who I am and what makes me happy."
"W. Bridgewater, Ma.
Mother, daughter, sister, friend, student, teacher. I'm strong-willed, outspoken, and determined. I believe people should treat others the way that they want to be treated. Acts of kindness, loyalty, and compassion go a long way. My greatest strength is my drive. Once I decide that I want to do something, I don't let anything or anybody stop me. I am a type-A personality and tend to let the fear of not succeeding control me. At times, I'd consider being a perfectionist, a weakness. I stress about things before they even happen. In the past year, I have completely lost myself. My role as a stay-at-home mom has ended. I have abruptly become a single mom who has to split her time between work, nursing school, and kids. Working second shift makes the days feel super long - I consume way too much coffee. "Mom guilt" pushes me to overload my plate. I try to pencil in fun-filled activities for my children - I love to see them laughing and smiling during a turbulent time in their lives. Many days, though, I feel I am not good enough and that I am failing as a mom, a daughter, and a friend. But my "village" likes to tell me otherwise. I firmly believe that struggles are temporary and success only comes after failure. My biggest insecurity is my body. I've always been super conscious of my weight. During my teen years, I obsessively logged everything I ate and then would try to burn it off at the gym. After kids, my body-image insecurities peaked. I still find myself passing mirrors - pulling on loose skin and focusing on other imperfections, day-dreaming of the day when I will truly feel confident in my skin. When these negative feelings consume me, I remind myself that I am healthy. I can run, jump, see, touch and feel - so many things that others can't. For the first time in my adult life, I am finding out who I am and what makes me happy. In the next 10 years, I hope to be working as a RN. I want my life to be settled, less chaotic, and a little more predictable. I am Becca and I feel most alive when I'm surrounded by the love of my children and pushing my body to new limits.
lanita
"I fear mental illness taking over as it has for many women in my family."
"Happiness is finding joy in all things; hard, easy and small."
"Happiness is finding joy in all things; hard, easy and small."
Marina Bay, Quincy MA.
Wife, mom, daughter, sister, friend, planner, leader, budding entrepreneur. At times, I fear I'm missing the "it" I'm here on earth for. I worry about not having enough & barely making it in the end like I've seen so many do where I grew up. I fear mental illness taking over as it has for many women in my family. I was raised in a 2 parent household but my mom suffered with mental & physical illnesses. As the oldest, I often felt like I was in charge. Being a Mother was all my mom knew, her dreams were gone and she and my dad got to the point where they didn't even know each other as people. I see now how hard it is to balance it all as a mom. I've felt not good enough; that feeling is often accompanied by a need to prove that I am capable and worthy. That need to prove myself has been crippling at times. I used to feel like I would be able to conquer so much, but as I've gotten older self doubt has grown. I find myself doubting my potential career success, spiritual callings and even relationships. I find it harder to love my body as I age. I love my dimples, though. Many black women are taught to work harder, be quieter and hopefully that will ensure their financial & emotional survival. I've hung onto the old story that as a black woman from a poorer family its best for me to stay in the safe lane. My new story is screw the safe lane! Every moment in my life has led me to walk the path less traveled. At 39 I finally feel like I'm on the verge of leaping into my purpose - like God is saying get it girl! I’m so close to finding the inner strength I know is there. I wish there were more people building each other up & less demographic divide - whether race, gender or socioeconomic. To me, success is loving and giving as much as possible. Happiness is finding joy in all things; hard, easy and small. I wish we women walked with our heads higher, judged and gossiped less and complimented more. We really need each other as support, safety nets and to hold us accountable. In ten years I hope to be comfortable in my skin, living in my purpose & helping others on their journey. I'm Lanita and I'm proud of my tenacious spirit; it keeps me getting up and trying again.
kristie
"I've walked through my life with paralyzing fear of what other people think & of disappointing them."
"I trust myself and know that no ones actions are a reflection of my character - ever."
"I trust myself and know that no ones actions are a reflection of my character - ever."
Flynn's Family Farm. Easton, Ma.
Mom, wife, daughter, sister, photographer. I believe in saying sorry and I love you out loud to the people you love. I envy people who are completely unapologetic about who they are and what they’re passionate about. I've walked through my life with paralyzing fear of what other people think & of disappointing them. I've felt this need to make people happy, proud and comfortable with me. I've avoided conflict. I started to lose myself to people pleasing. To sending in a "representative" version of myself I thought would best serve those around me. I was a kind, empathic child. I fought for kids who were left out & bullied without hesitation. Life dampened that but I'm letting that trait shine again-it’s at the root of this project. I think our childhood selves often illuminate our best & truest selves. I'd tell a 12 year old me to believe in herself. That people aren’t thinking about her as much as she thinks and that their opinions sure as hell don’t define her worth. I'd tell her to open up and connect more. I'm guarded with the real stuff & crave deeper connections with true friends - I have very few. I've struggled with body image. Falling into "I just need to be a little thinner or a little fitter" then I'll be happy... I've found a good balance with food and exercise and feel comfortable in my skin lately - though plenty of thoughts still pop up about what I look like and not feeling enough. I was cheated on. It felt like a nightmare came true. Like someone squeezed & twisted my heart in their hands. I struggled with trust & self worth after that. I couldn’t even look people in the eye for a long while because I felt ashamed. I'm stronger now. I trust myself and know that no ones actions are a reflection of my character - ever. I feel lucky to have my brain, health & abilities. I LOVE being a mom even though it’s fucking hard and messy most of the time. I truly love the man I married. I think people who take pride in themselves & ooze self love are the most beautiful. Real connections come from vulnerability and happiness comes from being present & grateful. I’m Kristie and I’m far from perfect. I am doing my best - I am proud to be me.
tayah
"At 16 I was sexually assaulted by a man a little older than I was who I believed I could trust."
"I'm proud of my ability to overcome great obstacles and the fact that I never crumble."
"I'm proud of my ability to overcome great obstacles and the fact that I never crumble."
Roxbury, Ma.
Mother, daughter, hairstylist, writer and aspiring spoken word artist. I value integrity, honesty and family. My voice - my ability to move people with just my words is my greatest strength. I was raised by a single Mom. Times weren't perfect but she made it work. My father was incarcerated when I was 3. Every visit was the same, the most difficult to get through. I felt like a prisoner in my own body but I was daddy's girl; his one and only. Until, he exposed to me that I actually had a brother who existed all along. This tore my family apart. I was torn between being Daddy's girl or Mommy's best-friend. With that on the line I attempted suicide which, thank god, was not successful. At 16 I was sexually assaulted by a man a little older than I was who I believed I could trust. I traveled home afterward by public transportation and realized I was bleeding extremely bad. I felt used, mistreated and worthless. That night I remember I just laid there completely weak waiting for my body to regain its strength. I didn't tell anyone. For years I ignored it. It was nearly 15 years before I finally lifted this weight off my shoulders and told my Mother. For a long time following that incident I felt like I wasn't good enough. I felt closed off, abandoned and alone. I so wish there was less violence and definitely more justice the world. I'd tell a 12 year old me to be fearless and to never give up on life because its the greatest gift, to cherish it with care. I'd tell her to be unapologetic about who she is and where she stands. I never had a father so the fact that my children have a great active Dad in their life is a wonderful feeling. I wanted to create a wholesome family for my children. My daughter Kylah Rae inspires me to be greater. I want to be her walking inspiration, a real life role model. I'm Tayah; I'm genuine, kind-hearted and supportive. I'm proud of my ability to overcome great obstacles and the fact that I never crumble. My experiences are not excuses but stepping stones for me to keep climbing this mountain called life. In 10 years I hope to have a home I can call my own, and a peace of mind that is long overdue.
sarah
"When my kids are happy & laughing I feel most alive."
"Often I feel like I'm not doing or being enough and selfish for taking a moment for myself."
"Often I feel like I'm not doing or being enough and selfish for taking a moment for myself."
West Bridgewater, Ma.
Mom, wife, daughter, sister, niece and cousin. I believe in being kind to each other, showing loved ones that you love and appreciate them, and in forgiveness - for others & ourselves. I am vulnerable, exhausted and thriving. I’ve completely lost and found myself in my role as a full-time stay at home Mom. My husband works mostly 12/14 hour days, everyday, at our family restaurant. I'm grateful to be home with my children and want to instill in them the tools that will get them through times when they struggle, hurt, or even lose hope. "Momming" with 100% of me while taking care of myself though, is a struggle. I don't make time to eat properly, drink enough water, sleep, shower, or heaven forbid, take a 5 minute walk or run an errand by myself. Once in a while I feel the weight of that- it’s crushing. I feel a lot of emotions and have come to know intimately the devastating feeling of "mom-guilt". Often I feel like I'm not doing or being enough and selfish for taking a moment for myself. At times I even feel like I'm failing my children. I'm insecure about my stretch marks or "tiger stripes" as my daughter calls them. I'm uncomfortable about them but equally proud because they represent the incredible miracle my body performed twice. I believe all women who have them should be unapologetically proud. My husband has always said a kind heart is the most beautiful part of a person - we teach our children that every day. I think communication and respect are the ingredients to a strong romantic relationship. If you approach everything with respect and love it's hard to tear each other apart. Also, a wise man once said, if you have to fight - fight naked. When you become a parent suddenly a huge piece of you, your heart, is just out there in the open, vulnerable and living in your kids. When my kids are happy & laughing I feel most alive. In 10 years I hope to be at least as happy and proud as I am now, but maybe a little less exhausted. I’m Sarah, and on the toughest days of dealing with all the crap, literally and figuratively, I look around my home, think about family & friends and feel grateful; this is happiness.
jill
"It's taken years for me to understand that beauty comes in so many forms."
"I'm proud of who I am as a person - I really like ME."
"I'm proud of who I am as a person - I really like ME."
Marina Bay, Quincy.
Daughter, fiancé, friend, student, teacher, artist, creator. I'm a strong, thoughtful, adventurous extrovert. My greatest strength is my natural disposition of positivity and kindness. I fear living with regrets and I feel most alive when I'm traveling. I was raised by everyone in my incredibly small family made up of my parents, grandmothers and uncle. I battle depression and anxiety, and since childhood, I've battled obesity. It's something I struggle with every day, despite having made some serious strides. My weight has never, and will never define who I am. But unfortunately, in the society we live in, we're constantly being spoon fed what it means to be "beautiful". I consider myself beautiful, but I do not look like the models in the magazines, in fact, not many do. Sure, in the past, I have felt like I'm not good enough or like I don't fit in. It's taken years for me to understand that beauty comes in so many forms. I'm most insecure about my stomach, I'm proportioned very strangely - I'm top heavy. But I like my face. I'd tell a 12 year old me to stop worrying about what everyone thinks, it's a waste of precious time. I'd say, love yourself truly, and the rest will follow. I wish women were less catty and judgmental. I wasn't expecting to run into "Mean Girls" in the professional world with grown women, and yet, here we are! I had a significant other that betrayed me and humiliated me in every way you can possibly betray and humiliate someone. That was the worst pain - it completely broke me. But the beauty of it was I was able to put myself back together, and this time I was the architect. I got put myself back together - using the pieces I chose and I created a stronger foundation than ever before. I believe success is feeling self-fulfilled and happiness = gratitude; the more content you are with what you have, the happier you will be. Beauty is the ability to see it in all things, including yourself! I'm Jill, I'm proud of who I am as a person - I really like ME. And I'm so excited about marrying my best friend next year!
aimee
"I'm a survivor."
"I'm afraid of showing my weaknesses to my children. I want them to feel safe and secure when they are with me."
"I'm afraid of showing my weaknesses to my children. I want them to feel safe and secure when they are with me."
Easton, Ma.
Mom of 4 kids and 2 frenchies, partner to Walter, mentor, professional, and survivor of AFE. I believe in kindness and compassion. I'm strong, determined and anxious. I'm afraid of showing my weaknesses to my children. I want them to always feel safe and secure when they are with me. My parents were strict and I honestly think they didn't know how to deal with me most of the time. I was a rebellious and often times defiant child. It's hard for me to accept that my relationship with my mom has never been normal and that there is nothing I can do to fix it. I've struggled with many forms of addiction since I was 14. I was sexually assaulted by 4 older boys the summer before my freshman year and for many years I suffered from anorexia and bulimia. My brother passed away in a tragic car accident at 16. We were very close and I still haven't figured out how to fill that huge hole in my heart. I used drugs and alcohol to numb the pain. I felt worthless and hopeless but I managed to get my life together when I found out I was expecting my oldest daughter. I went back to school and I never gave up. I worked through all the challenges. I was 36 when my son Jackson was born - he was our rainbow baby. I woke up 3 days after giving birth in the ICU. I had suffered from an Amniotic Fluid Embolism, a stroke and multiple blood clots in my lung. Despite this I walked out of the hospital a week after Jackie was born. It’s tough to wrap my head around that experience but it has made me understand how precious life is. I'm excited about my new blog about surviving motherhood in a modern world and my own struggles with anxiety and postpartum depression. I used to live by the story that I'm the addicted, anxiety driven girl that is broken from years of emotional and physical abuse but now my story is that I'm a proud mom working hard to live my best life. I'm proud of my constant and unwavering determination. My perseverance is what’s gotten me through my worst days and I think it's why my girls have grown into smart, strong, resilient young women. I'm Aimee - I’m a survivor. Sharing my story helps me heal and I hope it helps others that need to be heard and validated.
morgan
"The best day was the one I decided to get help for my substance abuse disorder."
"Although it's not there every day - I'm proud of my strength, bravery and courage."
"Although it's not there every day - I'm proud of my strength, bravery and courage."
Boston Public Gardens
Friend, girlfriend, daughter, sister, yoga teacher. I believe there's always something to be grateful for. I'm afraid of letting others down and not living up to my full potential. The worst day of my life was when my father died of an overdose. The best day was the one I decided to get help for my substance abuse disorder. My sobriety is my greatest challenge. It is a daily decision to continue on without any mind or mood altering substances. I started drinking at 17 and forthe next 10 years I couldn't understand why I couldn't keep a job, a friendship or a longterm relationship. I blamed it on everyone else but in reality it was my choice around drugs and alcohol that was keeping me so isolated. Those who tried to fight for me eventually gave up. And finally, I had had enough too. I called my mother (also in recovery) she drove up from NJ to support me and get me into treatment. That was a moment of pure grace. I got another chance at life. I feel truly blessed - to get it so young. Each day gets a bit easier. I feel fortunate that a drink/drug doesn’t even cross my mind as a solution anymore when hard days come up. Although, it’s not there every day - I'm proud of my strength, bravery, and courage. I know if I'm not sober, I have nothing . No yoga business. No student respect. No passion. No purpose. I've been blessed with a life I'm too afraid to lose - so instead I’ll keep on keepin’ on. Leading by example for other women struggling with substance abuse. It’s not easy, but we do recover. Happiness comes from staying true to yourself, no matter what. It comes from self care, trying new things, finding your voice and using it to tell others you love them. Beauty radiates from the inside out - you can't fake it. Being vulnerable. Raw. Real. Open. Honest. Willing. That is beautiful. I wish women helped other women more. We operate on such a basis of constant competition and comparison. It’s time for us to come together, share our experiences and remember we are all the same. I am Morgan. I don't have it all together. It's not all yoga and daisies, its life on life’s terms. But at the core - we are all just humans seeking LOVE. And Love is my religion.
linda m.
"My biggest emotional insecurity is that in sharing my story, people will feel sympathy for me. I don't want that, I only share my story in hopes it helps someone else going through something similar."
"I am proud of my ability to push through even when things are pulling me back."
"I am proud of my ability to push through even when things are pulling me back."
Cambridge, Ma.
Mama, wife, friend, advocate, professional. I'm loyal, empathetic and kind. And at 33 I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. That was my darkest day. I had a 15 month old son at the time and I was devastated he would have to grow up with a mom who has MS. I worried about the what if's. What if I lost my ability to walk? What if I forget? What if I become a burden to my family? What if I can't dance with my son on his wedding day? I didn't want his life to be harder because of my MS. I'm scared my MS will catch up with me and since its a progressive disease, it likely will. So, I've had to start living one day at a time and appreciate how good I feel right now. I try not to worry about the future - I'll cross that bridge when I get to it! When I was first diagnosed there were a lot of things happening in my brain and it was impacting things like my vision and walking. I felt weak. But shortly after I was diagnosed I got pregnant with twins and was utterly amazed at what my body was capable of. I had never felt stronger in my life. I say it was God's way of helping me forget I have MS because they keep me so busy! Today I am constantly chasing after my 5 year old son and 3 year old boy/girl twins. I try to live by the story that MS has been more of a blessing than a curse. I've challenged myself to do things I never thought I could like share my story, climb the tallest building in Boston (to raise money for MS) and be an ear for those newly diagnosed. I'm a good example that everything happens for a reason. How lucky was I to be diagnosed while working for a biotech company that specialized in making MS therapies? They changed my life and I've made lifelong friends that share the same diagnosis. I don't feel defined by MS but it is a part of me - it’s my new normal. I wish I could tell a 12 year old me that nothing, not one thing, will go as you had planned but that its okay because you can handle it! Even when it feels too much. I am Linda. I believe in kindness, hard work, and having fun and I am proud of my ability to push through even when things are pulling me back.
ashley
"I feel most alive when I'm surrounded by music because music breathes life into all things."
"I'm afraid of not being able to provide for my family."
"I'm afraid of not being able to provide for my family."
Dorchester, Ma.
Wife, mother of 4, daughter, sister, friend, educator and mentor. I'm a self aware, loving planner and I am afraid of not being able to provide for my family. I was raised by a village. My parents were very present in my life, but also had to work a lot. My grandmothers were critical caretakers for me and I love them for it. I have battled anxiety and depression since I was 11. I never understood as a child what was happening. There didn't seem to be "triggers" or any "traumatic event," I just knew there would be times I'd feel very down. The worst day of my life was in October of 2015. I had an anxiety attack that sent me into a battle with depression. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. It was one of the worst feelings I've ever had. To manage my anxiety and depression I've done years of cognitive behavioral therapy and further developed a faith in God. I learned to lean on family and be transparent about how I am feeling. I have gained significant weight and honestly think my whole body is a mess - but my belly being fat, especially when I am no longer with child, saddens me the most. If a friend had this same insecurity I'd tell her "Love yourself regardless and work at it. If you want it to look different, you have to do things differently." I tell myself this all the time too. I do love my smile. I think it’s a good one. I want to help young black girls see their value and brilliance. I wish there was more humanity and understanding in the world. I wish there was less hate - all versions of hate. I believe happiness can only be self-created and beauty is all about the inside; in one's spirit but also in their health and how well they treat themselves. I wish more women validated the experience of other women and did less competing for an imaginary "spot." Comparison is human nature, I just don't think we should feel pressure to match the experiences of other women. You never know what someone else's experience really is. In 10 years I hope to be happy, healthy and hopeful. I am Ashley. I’m proud to be a giver and I am proud to be me.
nikki
"I feel most alive when I'm laying in bed with my son feeling his breath on my face. I never thought I'd get a chance to mother a child and that is a reminder that I do and that it’s real."
"I worry that I will never be whole again and that others really only see this damaged, broken, prostituted woman as opposed to an intelligent driven one."
"I worry that I will never be whole again and that others really only see this damaged, broken, prostituted woman as opposed to an intelligent driven one."
Wollaston Beach, Quincy Ma.
Mother, wife, sister, friend, person in recovery from substance use disorder, survivor of prostitution, CEO of Living In Freedom Together. I am a broken, resilient warrior. I am empathic to the core and often feel others' pain as if it’s my own. I have been exploited, physically assaulted, and abused. I am afraid that I am still not worthy of love. I still feel damaged and undeserving when my son looks at me with eyes of adoration and I often wonder why my husband loves me. I worry that I will never be whole again and that others really only see this damaged, broken, prostituted woman as opposed to an intelligent driven one. I struggle to find my worth in this world apart from my body. I struggle with self esteem issues and feelings of insecurity and self doubt. I try to manage it all with positive affirmations and by doing good in this world. I feel as though I have a purpose when I'm helping other women. Little do they know that they are helping me. I think I hold onto that old story that I'm a drug addicted loser that will never amount to anything. But my new story is one of strength, resiliency, and recovery. Something inside me made me fight. I thank god every day for the opportunity to live free; free from the substances and free from the sex trade. I wish more people understood that those women on the streets didn’t want to be there. They have a story too and usually a story of violence, loss, insecurity and pain. I'd tell a 12 year old me that you don't need to give your body to get love. That love is patient, kind and respectful and will wait if you aren't ready. I wish there was less toxic masculinity in this world and more female empowerment. Beauty comes from within. Looks fade but your kindness and compassion will always shine through. Success is having love, a few friends, family and finding our purpose in this world. I'm excited about opening Jana's Place the recovery home for prostituted women. I am Nikki. I am proud of my resiliency and I feel most alive when I'm laying in bed with my son feeling his breath on my face. I never thought I'd get a chance to mother a child and that is a reminder that I do and that it’s real.
Support Nikki! She is the CEO of LIFT (Living In Freedom Together). A nonprofit organization whose mission is to provide resources, advocacy and support to empower individuals to exit and recover from the impacts of commercial sexual exploitation. Learn more: http://liftworcester.org/about-lift/
angela
"I feel most alive when I'm flipping around - I just feel so powerful."
"My biggest emotional insecurity is getting close to someone and them leaving me - that seems to be what happens to me a lot."
"My biggest emotional insecurity is getting close to someone and them leaving me - that seems to be what happens to me a lot."
Providence, Rhode Island.
Daughter, sister, athlete, ninja warrior, coach, trainer. I'm an independent, loyal and determined extroverted-introvert. I worry a lot that I'm not going to make it to where I want to be. I struggle to balance friend and family time on top of reaching my goals. I know I need to learn to disconnect from my job and goal stuff to reach out and be with friends. The worst day of my life was the day my ex boyfriend died of an overdose. I think I still hang onto the story that I'm the girlfriend of a drug addict. My biggest emotional insecurity is getting close to someone and them leaving me - that seems to be what happens to me a lot. So many times in my life I have felt not good enough, especially in those times when I "failed" or when things didn't go right in a relationship. I honestly hate my thighs and legs. I always feel like they are so weak and could use more improvement. I love my arms and my back though. If I could give the 12 year old me advice I'd tell her, "keep doing you and don't worry about what anyone else says. Also don't be insecure about your strong arms because strength is nothing to be ashamed of!". I've been cheated on and totally broken hearted. I learned that NO ONE should ever make you feel that way and to always go with your gut instinct even if you feel crazy. I wish women stopped comparing themselves. It isn't a competition. there is room for everyone to be happy and successful. Judgement affects female relationships a lot. You shouldn't judge a book by it's cover because you really don't know what someone else is going through mentally. Right now I'm excited about sharing my ACL reconstruction story with the world and helping other athletes. Success to me is just being happy, loving what you do each day and helping others. A good heart is the most beautiful thing. In 10 years I hope to be traveling the world and continuing to do what I love - fitness. I am Angela and I feel most alive when I'm flipping around because I just feel so powerful.
Support Angela! Check out her training facility and online programs at AGAthletics on IG, and FB.
linda
"I feel most alive when I'm standing at when I'm standing at the shore and looking out into the ocean. I know then life is infinity."
"My biggest emotional insecurity is not having the answers someone needs."
"My biggest emotional insecurity is not having the answers someone needs."
Castle Island, South Boston.
Mother, aunt, sister, friend, lawyer, broker, mentor, teacher, life-long student. As a child I was sad, alone and scared. I was born poor. I had to work hard to overcome poverty. My entire adult life I have worked 2 jobs and up to 80 hours a week. I remember everyday the people who treated me poorly when I had no mother, father, or family around me to support me. But I'm a survivor. I took on poverty, I looked it in the face and said, "BYE". I'd tell a 12 year old me to enjoy the life you have and not to worry about tomorrow because you WILL have the ability to change your circumstances. Just hang on. I often feel not good enough and like I don't fit in. I'm insecure about my butt - It's too flat. I love my smile though. I wish there was more compassion and fewer selfish people in the world. To me, success is helping others. Happiness is found when you help others without expectations or conditions. Beauty is found in a kind heart. I've learned communication is the main ingredient to a strong relationship. I've been married and divorced twice. Growing up without love trains you to keep your feelings to yourself. I've learned that keeping things inside can hurt the people who love you- they are not mind readers. I wish women supported each other more and gossiped less. In 10 years I hope to be working in the community helping people and improving the quality of life for those also impacted by poverty. I am proud of my mind. I am Linda and I feel most alive when I am standing at the shore and looking out into the ocean. I know then life is infinity.
Support Linda! She is running for Suffolk County District Attorney!!! Learn more at championforda.com
jen
"I feel most alive when I'm dancing."
"My biggest emotional insecurity is that I'll lose the love of those closest to me, especially my significant other."
"My biggest emotional insecurity is that I'll lose the love of those closest to me, especially my significant other."
Winthrop, Ma.
Coach, mentor, entrepreneur, daughter, sister, aunt, significant other, dancer. I am caring, courageous and passionate. I worry about not being good enough to financially support my goals like owning a home, supporting a family, traveling and making a positive impact on the world. I was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma at age 14. For most of my childhood I felt not good enough. I struggle to maintain a positive mindset that anything is possible. Having had cancer, I didn't trust life for the longest time. As a child with cancer I didn't feel like I fit in. I felt "abnormal" or "diseased". While others were settling more into their bodies post-puberty, the drugs I had to take for treatment caused me to gain weight and lose hair. It was a tough time. My biggest emotional insecurity is that I will lose the love of those closest to me, especially my significant other. Physically, I'm most insecure about my stomach, it’s never been "flat" and it is a place where I've stored a lot of insecurity, repressed emotions and shame. I love my green eyes. My greatest gift is being able to express my passion for life through dance. The best day of my life was performing with the Mascote Salsa Dancing Company for a huge crowd at Lincoln Center in NYC. I wish there was more openness to others' perspectives in the world and less automatic reaction and shutting down to experiences. I wish women did more relaxing and supporting and less striving to over-succeed, competing and worrying about their physical bodies. I think judgement tends to be more passive and unspoken amongst females, it keeps us from spending time with others who we perceive to be "better than us" or "ahead of us" in life. My female tribe consists of loving supporters who remind me who I truly am and what I'm capable of. I am Jen and I feel most alive when I'm dancing.
Support Jen! She is the founder of Dance With Life Consulting where she is a Career/Life Coach, Group Facilitator, Mindfulness Teacher and Dance Artist. Learn more at www.dancewithlifeconsulting.com
Email: [email protected] Facebook: www.facebook.com/dancewithlifecommunity/
Instagram: @Jennifer.Earls LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jearls Phone: 617-600-8378
Email: [email protected] Facebook: www.facebook.com/dancewithlifecommunity/
Instagram: @Jennifer.Earls LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/jearls Phone: 617-600-8378
izzy
"I feel most alive when I let go of my fear and just go."
"My biggest emotional insecurity is about my body and what it looks like to others."
"My biggest emotional insecurity is about my body and what it looks like to others."
Larz Anderson Park, Brookline Ma.
Friend, girlfriend, daughter, sister, “frenchie” mom, health & wellness professional. I'm free spirited, anxious, and confident. I love helping women feel strong and empowered. I'm afraid that I'll have to deal with anxiety, body dysmorphia and depression my whole life. I worry about everything! In all honesty, having anxiety is really draining. I worry a lot about my body and what it "looks like" to others. I've been in therapy since I was 13. I have to have downtime in my day for self-care like yoga or working out or my anxiety starts to increase which triggers a lot of the negative feelings associated with my body dysmorphia. I have to work through issues from my past every single day. Sometimes I feel like a prisoner to my body dysmorphia and anxiety. There are moments I know its out of control yet, it feels like there is nothing I can do to make it stop. For a long time I felt like I was not good enough. I've held onto an old story that I don't deserve love and that being vulnerable in a relationship will hurt me. My new story is that the past is the past, and its over! I want to live by the "story" that my issues no longer affect me. I'd tell a 12 year old me to stop worrying so much about with others think. Beauty is too often defined by our outer appearance. Being who you really are and sharing that with others, that is beautiful. I'm excited about the new adventure I'm on as a personal trainer and fitness instructor. It was so invigorating to quit my corporate job and finally pursue my passion. The road hasn't been easy but I feel so fulfilled, happy and excited for what’s to come. Success for me is helping other women see their potential, feel their best and be their most authentic self. I wish women did more advocating and less apologizing. I think most women are quick to judge each other before getting to know one another - I've been guilty of it. We are constantly judging each other on what we initially see, before taking the time to learn about each other. I am Izzy and I feel most alive when I’m teaching and doing things that make me feel uncomfortable. As an anxious person I feel so alive when I let go of my fear and just go.
Support Izzy! She is a CPT & Group Fitness Instructor. She is currently the Regional Operations Manager and an Instructor/Trainer at Burnin' by Ray studios in Belmont and in Boston's Seaport. Follow her on Instagram: @izzy.atkinson
Look out for her website coming soon! And for an upcoming community event around Body Image & Self Love!
Look out for her website coming soon! And for an upcoming community event around Body Image & Self Love!
nicole
"I feel most alive when I’m travelling anywhere. There is so much to see in this world, its beyond the tiny bubble of where we reside. Life is about experiences, not things."
"My biggest emotional insecurity is my weight and my appearance."
"My biggest emotional insecurity is my weight and my appearance."
Lynch Park, Beverly Ma.
Care taker, giver, lover, empath, social, introverted-extrovert. My greatest strength is my compassion. I worry most about losing people I love and not ever being capable of loving someone completely again. The best day of my life was the day I started my event planning business. The worst day of my life was the day my mother died. It’s difficult to balance work, social and “me” time. I over analyze things. I often feel like I’m not good enough. I feel like I don’t fit in because of my looks, weight, goals and the fact that I’m not married and don’t have children yet. My biggest emotional insecurity is around my weight and my appearance. I love my eyes. Im insecure about my stomach and arms. An old story I hang onto is that I’m the “loser” with the alcoholic father and “doormat” Mom. My new story is that I’m the business woman who rose from the ashes and paved her own way, while helping others. I’d tell a 12 year old me that it gets better; and you will meet so many incredible people who will love you as you are. I wish there was more love- more women supporting women and less patriarchy in the world. Success is living the life you’ve imagined without letting others influence your dreams with their own. Happiness is kindness, curiosity, self love, self-care, sharing, communication, traveling, compassion & passion. Beauty is in appearance but also in relationships and experiences, including painful ones. The recipe for a strong romantic relationship is communication, thoughtfulness, honesty, trust, romance, adventure, and never forgetting why you fell in love to begin with. In 10 years I hope to be established, working from home on my own terms, for myself, surrounded by the same people who have loved me through a lot of b.s. I am Nicole and I feel most alive when I’m traveling anywhere. There is so much to see in this world, it’s beyond the tiny bubble of where we reside. Life is about experiences, not things.
Support Nicole! She is the head Wedding and Event coordinator at the beautiful Lyman Estate.